


Here We Are Again The Same Old Place

by SleepySpeedster



Series: Dispersed Time AU [4]
Category: Batman Beyond, DCU (Comics), The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Conflict, Denial of Feelings, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Drinking & Talking, Established Relationship, Feelings Realization, Flashbacks, Friendship, Future Fic, Heroism, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Time Skips, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:20:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28543953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepySpeedster/pseuds/SleepySpeedster
Summary: Originally this began as a rewrite of A Special Time A Special Place, but has expanded greatly and changed.Thad returns to the bar in Neo-Gotham where he first met Terry McGinnis and where his life, a complicated displaced mess due to his death and sudden return, began to change.[Criticism, comments, and questions greatly welcomed!]
Relationships: Terry McGinnis/Thaddeus Thawne
Series: Dispersed Time AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828960
Kudos: 6





	Here We Are Again The Same Old Place

**Author's Note:**

> If you're looking for a story where Thad has an eventually good though occasionally complicated relationship with someone you've come to the right place, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Headcanons Relevant to the Story:
> 
> Thad and Terry are respectively 24 and 25 during **the start of the flashback sections** and then they progress in age with the flashbacks.
> 
> Sexuality: Thad is Asexual (or at least somewhere in the spectrum of Asexuality; Demisexuality I think) and Biromantic, and Terry is Bisexual.
> 
> Thad's costume is different from his original one; predominantly black with thin green lightning bolts at the sides, and green lining that separates the sections of the costume at the edges. If you want to see an illustration of it feel free to ask on my tumblr, which goes by the same name as this account (sleepyspeedster).
> 
> And Thad’s love language is expressed in actions and small touches and you’ll have to fight me about that.
> 
> The title is inspired by the Sea Wolf song, "Visions".
> 
> * * *
> 
> Comments, questions, and reactions are 100% welcomed and greatly appreciated! Tell me what you liked, questions you have, anything! Give this work a kudos if you liked it. Comments and kudos help me to create more work and figure out what I should work on. 

It’s late and the dingy bar slowed into a sleepy lull long ago, but Thad sits at the bar still with a fresh drink in his hand. For more than few hours he had waited right in that spot. It was uncharacteristic for some speedsters to sit still for so long. To go without moving for so long without something else dragging him off, even for someone as patient as Thad, it seemed unusual. He could have been anywhere in the world, or in any time period, but he had chosen this small dirty, dingy bar in Neo-Gotham. If anyone had come up to ask him as to why someone like him would choose to wait in such a place, simply a smirk would slide up the corner of his mouth, and such a rare light would twinkle would shine in his aged golden eyes. 

No matter how much he time-traveled, no matter how much his life was separated by disjointed moments in time he would make sure to never forget this date, this time, and how many years it had been since the first time they had met and really talked to each other in this bar.

* * * * * * * * * *

Even though he was a speedster in Neo-Gotham the nights could be rough for Thad. He might have been the fastest villain out there, but the villains were territorial and headstrong, and the new Batman was a stubborn smart ass. A part of him enjoyed the banter the other spouted, he was as sharp with his tongue as he was on his feet. It could be distracting at times that Thad would find himself cornered, but not for long. Never for very long when it came to a speedster of course. This Batman hadn’t fought a real speedster before which was clear by how he had gone about their fight. He just couldn’t help, but try to get to him. Close within striking distance. Against a speedster that direct kind of approach was in vain. After a month worth of encounters the sight of frustration on the new Batman’s lips was infinitely entertaining. It was becoming a song and dance that Thad was beginning to truly enjoy as he began to quip back at the bat, making him annoyed and mad. And while Thad might not have held onto all the traditional speedster qualities like the Flashes, he could be a bit of a talker himself under the right circumstances. Especially when getting under another’s skin was a specialty of his.

So far all he knew was that he had issues when it came to his father. He hadn’t expected it when he had made the childish comment, but hey he’ll work with what he’s got even if it did hit close to home.

Thad as he pretends to scroll through his phone lets out a chuckle to himself and his ribs vehemently objected at the action as they spasmed with pain, and he let out a small groan. 

“Grife.” Thad murmurs out as he sits at his usual spot at the bar, his body was screaming at him to go home and rest with how sore he was, his bottom lip was still split open and shiny with blood. The ugly blue and yellow bruises, and cuts across his body might have been healing, but they were healing slowly. It had been fun to fight the bat, he was certainly getting better at getting up to his speed, but with that he had pushed his luck tonight. He sighed as he ordered his drink. The second he could consistently catch up to him was the moment things would stop being fun, and it had certainly been a long time since Thad had really had fun.

Golden eyes glance around the bar. Even this late the bar was full enough to be noisy, music was playing over the sound system, and the other college students that made up the bar were still full of jubilant and riotous energy.

Still amongst the cacophony he managed to hear the heard the bell above the door ring as someone entered. 

Black hair and a familiar and fresh cut upon his cheek. A batarang had been lodged in a wall near Thad when the thought had sparked. They were more dangerous in the speedster’s grip, speed and a razor’s edge were never a good combination, but luckily Thad wasn’t one who went out to gouge or maim. Not anymore at least. Thad had heard the bat reel back in pain with a hiss. It had hurt enough to distract him, and when the hero opened his eyes Thad was gone. Only a streak of Speed Force disappeared into the air.

“Oh, shit.” Thad eyes widened and suddenly were locked with bright and angry baby blues.

“You.” The man hissed out.

Thad sheepishly grinned; terrified and even excited. Tonight was not his night, but it sure as hell was eventful.

You never expect to run into a hero at a bar. It’s right up there with running into an ex you had a messy split with, or a past one-night stand. Not that Thad has experienced either of those things, but he had certainly witnessed a few instances and they were never pretty. Maybe he should stop visiting bars that attracted shitty people, then?

As the man sits down at the stool to his left, Thad stands, his knees buckling as the nights activities weigh down on his body finally catching up to him and he sits down again with a groan muffled by the music and noise, though that doesn’t stop him from hear the bat chuckle.

“Rum and coke.” The man tells the bartender as he hands her a few creds and once she turns her back to them he hisses out, “Hand it over.”

Thad grimaces at the demand as he feels the drive in his pocket and glances to the left of him. He could escape if he liked, of course that only meant crossing off one more establishment he could never return to thanks to the hero, and Thad would like to enjoy his drink.

“And why should I do that?” He picked up his drink and took a sip. Whatever this hero thought he could say or threaten wasn’t going to get him to change his mind. Thad was certain of that as he set his drink down hard with a clatter, “It’s not as if they’re doing anyone any good; Certainly nothing helpful.” Thad narrowed his eyes at thought. The whole company was practically a sham. Funneling its funds and donations for a so called answer to a number of diseases, “I think it’d be fine for me to make some cash off of their lack of scruples. To ruin them past the point of being able to stand.” Thad whispers in reply before taking another sip of his drink letting the burn of alcohol trail all the way down. This little black drive was a gold mine worth of creds. He would be able to live off of it for as long as he was stuck in this damn era. The corporation would plead and prostrate themselves for it, do whatever he wishes, and Thad would be benevolent once he got an untraceable amount of creds, and then without a second for them to breath that sigh of relief he would air all of their despicable deeds. Not one single wrong would be passed over.

Terry clicks his tongue annoyed and grabs at Thad’s wrist, “What you’re about to do is going to ruin so many lives. Don’t you get that?”

Thad lets out a dry laugh, wrenching his hand away from the other and locks eyes with the hero, “By revealing what they’re doing? They deserve worse than that. Y’know I never took you for the sort to care about scum, but I guess all you heroes are still the same. So long as you think it’s right makes it so.”

His blue eyes narrow into a glare, “ _Don’t_ assume that you know me. I get it. Really, I do.” Thad scoffed. That would be the first time he had ever heard that from a hero, but he listened, “Just because we put on a costume doesn’t make us right, but we’re trying. We’re trying to do the right thing, And I know that I am too…That’s all I can do. I’m not perfect, but I’m trying.”

Thad’s lips settled in a tight line as he stared at the hero. He hated what he was saying because for once he could genuinely relate to the person behind the costume. Because for a moment it reminded him of himself. He had tried at one point to do the right thing, he had done it in the end and still remembered the look on Max’s face, Bart’s words, and look how well that ended up for him. A constant pain and dread had seized him, he was once dead, and now time displaced. He stared into those blue eyes and hated them. He hated how sincere he looked. Yet, the indignant anger of injustice was so different from the disgust he was used to.

He shakes his head, “ Can’t you just listen to what I have to say?”

He turns his head away and toward his drink. Thad shrugs, but he doesn’t move. He was listening.

“Look, I know what they’re doing to Metas.” The hero urges on, “You can’t reveal their experiments without endangering them all. They’re expendable to the corporation, and if they need to destroy evidence they’ll start with those people first.” They were guinea pigs to the corporation, a means to an end and not people.

Thad stares at his drink contemplative as he traced the edges of the drive in his pocket. He hated this, but the bat was right. He knew he was right. Hundred of pages of notes detailing each experiment, the successes, and deadly failures that came with their manipulation of these people’s genes in order to test for cures they could sell. They had no lives, and surely no hope, so long as they were stuck there. So long as they served their purpose that was all they were good for. Thad knew what that was like.

His hand clenched around his glass, his grip threatening to break it.

He would never allow himself to be subjected by another’s control again. Maybe that’s why he had threatened the corporation in the first place. When he had caught a whiff he had doggedly chased after all he could find on them.

He pulls the drive from his pocket and the other reaches for it, but just as he’s about to grab it Thad pulls back earning a surprised look and another glare, “But what do I get out of this then?”

“ _Are you serious?_ ” The hero hisses out.

“I am.” He says just as seriously, but as the hero stared at him the look in his yellow eyes was different. A pain lingered behind them, “I’ll help, but that’s not enough for me. I have to get something out of this. I’m not going to help out of the goodness of my heart. That’s not how this world works.” Thad had to put himself first and foremost. He sympathized with their plight, felt dread for them, but if he didn’t take what he could, well, then where would that leave him? With nothing and no one to help him. No one was going to help someone like him, so he had to do it himself. It was a lesson he had learned the hard way. 

The hero’s brows furrow.

‘That’s not how this world works.’ Inertia wasn’t wrong about that. The world wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t kind. 

After a moment he picks up his drink, “Alright, I’ll figure something out.”

Thad’s hand clenched his own glass as slipped slightly. No hero had ever made a deal with him. Not honest ones at least. Taking a sip of his drink and letting the cold alcohol linger against his tongue he settled now less tense in the other’s company. There was something about this hero that was different. It was almost as if he understood in a way, “Alright. What did you have in mind?”

“For one, I’m not arresting you. How’s that?” He asks with a smirk.

“As if you could catch me in the first place,” Thad shoots right back at him before quickly and suddenly whipping his arm out toward the other man, and suddenly holds a leather wallet, “How about this instead?” He waves it around in hand before he begins to rifle through its contents. Immediately pocketing the hero’s creds and giving his ID a good look over.

_Terry McGinnis, huh?_

“Is that- ” Terry squints and pats down his jacket pockets as…That was his wallet! “Give that back!” He snatches at from Thad’s grasp and notices his missing creds, but in their place was the black drive.

“Are you serious?” Terry asks as Thad downs the rest of his drink in one gulp, letting it burn all the way down his throat.

“Yeah…I am.” He shrugs letting this moment of generosity baffle them both. Though the speedster had planned to pocket much more than the creds Terry had on him…he was sure.

“Y’know, _Terry…_ ” The speedster chuckles at the newness of Batman’s real name on his lips, “You’re not bad for an annoying hero.” 

Terry grins, “Yeah, you’re not that bad yourself…” Terry waits wondering if Inertia would offer his name.

“Thad.” He replies grasping the other’s outstretched hand.

“You’re not bad yourself, _Thad_.” He says as a small spark of Speed Force energy trailed off Thad’s hand in a small green arc onto Terry’s hand.

“Ow! What the-?!” Terry yelps out as he pulls his hand back, but Thad can do is let out a loud laugh before devolving into a full fit of laughter. He had never done that before, but he hadn’t expected it to _hurt_. The irony was fitting to him.

“You’ll be _fine_. It’s a bit of Speed Force. You’ll heal up faster.” Thad partially explains as the open and red skin around Terry’s knuckles begins to slowly heal before their eyes. The injury was minor to start with, but now he was only left with a few marks that would heal up in no time. 

With that and what was starting to be too many good deeds for one night, Thad stands up and downs the rest of his drink.

“Not going to cause more trouble while I stick around?” Terry asks as he raises his still half full glass. He needed a bit of a break tonight and would be sure to get the drive back to the Cave as soon as possible. 

Thad grins, “Nah, there’s nothing else to do tonight if I can’t blackmail a corporate giant. Anything else would be too much of a let down at this point…I guess I might be seeing you around, hero.”

“Not unless I see you breaking the law first.”

“Hope not.” Thad laughs as he exits the bar in a surprisingly better mood than when he had entered. His body was still sore from his fight with _Terry_ , but he didn’t mind the pain as much now. He had been tough, a sign of a good fight. He rolled his shoulder and then other letting the sensation soak into his muscles. A sense of satisfaction that hadn’t been there before wrapped around him. It wasn’t just the fight that made him feel that way. Maybe it would be interesting to stick around Neo-Gotham for a while longer. There weren’t any other speedsters chasing him down, and maybe, just maybe this Batman wasn’t so bad.

* * *

[A few days later]

As Thad walks down the street he suddenly stops at as a display window full of TVs plays the latest news. He smirks at the sight of The Neo-Gotham Police Department swarming around one particular CEO, and rounding up numerous more men and women of that same corporation, along with flashes of men, women, and children, those who had been kidnapped and used being helped along into ambulances and comforted.

Thad lets out a hum, “He actually did it.” He says to himself as he goes on his way with a slight spring in his step and a new night’s worth of pay in his pocket as heads toward the same bar to relax, “Too bad I didn’t any creds out of it.” Oh well, he wasn’t too broken up about it not with this kind of end.

Thad held out his creds for his drink to the bartender who shook her head. 

“Your drinks are already paid for.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeeeah,” The bartender monotonously drawls as she dries a glass, “Some handsome guy with dark hair said he’d foot the tab and then some, so lucky you.” She says leaving Thad to stare at his free drink while she got back to her other customers.

“So this was what he meant when he said he’d figure it out.” It wasn’t the ten mill in credits he had planned to get through blackmail, but Thad lets out a laugh and shakes his head. If this was the reward he got for doing something sort of good he wouldn’t mind crossing paths with the Bat more often. Heroes weren’t usually this… _nice_. Not to him. Never to him. 

Thad thought as he sipped his drink enjoying the warmth that settled in his stomach. It was nice to be treated like a person for once.

* * *

It was another typical night for Terry as he patrolled the city. One problem was solved and then another popped up in its place. Stray Jokerz running around like usual making a fool and menace of themselves, and now the Royal Flush Gang without Ten was trying to rob the local bank.

From the rafters Terry spied Jack was making the round threatening the patrons and gathering up what creds he could from purses and wallets, while the King and Queen began to make their way to the deposit safes, while Ace guarded the pair.

“You know the thing about a card theme? It makes you all so easy to knock down.” Terry leapt down amidst the scene throwing his batarang at Jack, a rope wrapping around the villain’s legs immobilizing him.

“Ace get him!” King gritted out as he and the Queen gathered up the contents of the safes as fast as they could, and chaos broke loose as patrons ran from the scene getting as far away from the fight and crossfire as they could. The giant android quickly came upon the bat, its huge arms raised and came down with a crash almost hitting Terry before he jumped out of the way, leading it to where there was no people around.

Terry muttered out a curse as the King and the Queen began to ran with their stolen goods as Ace attacked again, shattering the section of floor Terry was standing a moment before. One of the things he hated about fighting the Royal Flush Gang was fighting Ace. For a huge android he sure moved pretty fast. He dipped and dodged out of the way of the android’s attacks, striking him with batarangs in an attempt to gain some distance, but dodging forever simply wasn’t possible. He pulled out a batarang pulsing with electricity only for Ace to charge, sending him flying into a nearby pillar, crumpling onto the ground. The air knocked out of his lungs, he coughed and wheezed, unable to hang onto a breath as the android advanced upon him. On his hands and knees Terry gripped the batarang tightly in his hand

He could hear Bruce in his ear telling him to get up, yelling for him to get up, but his body wouldn’t listen. Ace stood before him, hands clasped together, raised and ready to break him.

He threw the batarang, lodging it into Ace’s chest, releasing a surge or electricity into the android, but undeterred his arms swung in a downward arc. Terry clenched his eyes bracing for the impact. 

It never came. 

Instead, he heard the thud and crunch of metal as something sent the droid reeling backwards. A dent in his metal chest, and a streak caught his eye as it surrounded Ace, and disappeared just as fast. The android stepped forward once more toward Terry as he got to his feet ready for another round, its movements all of sudden sluggish before smoke began to plume from its seams and joints. Ace took another step, extended its arms out and collapsed onto the ground. Terry didn’t have time to unpack what had just happened, though he had an idea, leaving the collapsed android he caught up to the King and Queen. Though he managed to take the pair down with more ease than Ace, as he tied them up there he noticed one important thing missing from this scene. 

Having tied up the Royal Flush Gang and left them for the cops, Terry scanned the street and let out a hum, as Bruce went on in his ear about the missing creds in his ear and his suspicions, but Terry was only half listening. He knew he hadn’t just been seeing things, and if Bruce had saw it too that meant only one thing. 

The sound of bits of metal clinked onto the ground nearby. Terry picked up a screw and a few bits of a shattered circuit board near his foot. He shut down his com link and visuals, and looked up.

So he hadn’t imagined it. Up sitting on a nearby roof he saw Inertia in his black and green costume swinging his feet, waiting for him. He knew Bruce wouldn’t be pleased by the sight of the villain, so he wouldn’t let him. The speedster could be a valuable source of information, and it wasn’t as if he was _that_ bad.

Terry sat next to the speedster, “Thanks for the assist back there.” 

Thad shrugged nonchalantly and flexed his sore hand, “I was nearby and you looked like you needed some help.” That and he couldn’t just let someone this interesting get crushed like that.

“Uh-huh. And what about the missing creds?”

“Missing creds?” Thad tilted his head and shrugged, feigning having any knowledge, though a smirk was soon on his lips as he looked Terry directly in the eyes wondering what he would do, but that only earning him a stern look and an outstretched hand gesturing, ‘C’mon, Thawne’.

“Fine,” Thad sighed though not disappointed. Far from it even as his image blurred out of focus for one moment and then solidified the next now holding the sack of stolen creds he had stolen from the Flush Gang, “You really are no fun, you know that?”

“I’m Batman, no fun seems to be in the job description.” And putting up a fight didn’t seem to be in Thad’s by the look of things tonight.

Yet, Thad still grinned, and after a moment as Terry stood to leave rubbed the back of his neck he cleared his throat, “Hey…You, uh, want grab a drink?”

Terry raised his brows at that, not that the speedster could see them underneath the mask, but he was surprised nonetheless at a villain offering him a drink.

“Shut up. I owe you.” Thad brushes himself off as he stands. It was just one good deed for another. Anyway he didn’t like having to own anyone any favors, especially heroes.

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Apparently some ‘handsome guy with dark hair’ paid for my tab last night.”

“ _Really_?” Terry grins and leans toward him, “Handsome?”

Thad scoffs and very obviously rolls his eyes at Terry, “Hey. Bartender’s words _not_ mine, jerk. Now hurry up or I’ll run up a tab in your name instead.” He sped off into the night, not even waiting for an answer, while Terry returned the missing creds to the station, and headed back to the cave to change out of his costume.

While Bruce didn’t know where he was heading out of who with, he still managed to chew him out. Something about not getting close to your villains before he turned back to the Batcomputer and ran through the vid of his fight with the Royal Flush Gang.

* * * *

A year had passed and at some point you couldn’t ignore the bad that came with the good. Not when everyone was yelling for you to stop. From Bruce, to Dick, and even Tim. They had even called Tim like this was an intervention. At some point you had to stop yourself and ask, ‘Why?’. What are you doing? What is _he_ doing? When he had done something like _that_?

Terry let out a sigh as he popped off a bottle cap.

The drinks were fine, getting some back up from the speedster was fine, but each moment together Terry knew was falling a little further into something he was no longer sure about. Did he really know Thad as well as he thought? Had Thad ever been genuine with him, or had all of this just been some sort of plot?

He had to ask.

“What _did_ you do?” 

He hated that he had to ask.

“Hah,” The grin on his lips at what he thought wasn’t a serious question slipped so easily when Thad saw the look on Terry’s face. They were actually going to have this talk. Thad shook his head. He had been stupid. Reprehensibly stupid to get close to someone again.

“I thought this whole thing—What happened to I don’t pry into your sins and you won’t pry into mine?”

He didn’t want to have to say it himself, “…They’re not a secret anymore.”

“Are you _sprocking_ kidding me?” The speed induced shove propelled him back more than a few steps as Thad backed away from him. 

“It’s not as if I went digging, Thad!”

“It sure as hell doesn’t look like it!” He yelled back, electricity sparking off of his body.

“Thad…” Terry takes a step forward and Thad shakes his head at him. They were both hurt by this, but he had tried.

“I would have told you. If…If you had just given me some time. I—” His voice caught in his throat. 

“Would you?” Terry had to wonder, and the question escaped him. Doubt crept in. Broke things to pieces.

Thad knew the truth.

He wouldn’t have.

Whatever he was now: good, bad, hero, villain…He wouldn’t have.

“I tried dammit! What happened to that? What happened to, ‘I’m not perfect, but I’m trying’?” Every step forward there was two back. That was the story of his life.

Of course this wouldn’t have worked out.

* * * * 

Terry let out a groan, his vision blurry, and his ears still ringing. The cool air of the Batcave felt good on his skin, but pain still coursed through his nerves across his body. He had been fighting…He remembered that. Fighting Inque when a fire broke out in the lab. Caused an explosion, and then there was smoke everywhere, then pain before everything went dark.

“What?!” Outrage rang in the speedster’s raspy voice. Smoke inhalation, Terry’s head buzzed, oh, so helpfully as he sat up. A bad decision truly as, the world spun before him, but still he climbed out of the bed and walked toward the voices, dragging his IV drip with him.

“So what I should have left him? He could have died there! Suit or not!”

“He is not your responsibility, Thawne! We would have been able to take care of him!”

“ _Right. Of course you could have._ ” He scoffed.

“ _Wzzat?_ ” He cleared his throat drawing their attention, “Is that, Thad?”

The yelling had stopped amidst the Batcave, Bruce and Matt and Max, on one side and Thad on the other as they stared at Terry. Yellow eyes locked with blue, and suddenly he was gone.

It was one thing he truly disliked about the speedster. 

He could never catch up to him.

* * * * *

How long had it been since he had seen a blur in Neo-Gotham? Max traced where the sensors across the city had been going off, something Bruce had set up years back, as the speedster made his way around, searching for something, refusing to stop. His search was thorough and precise as never circled backed once, but finally as Terry flew through the sky tracing his path, he stopped in the warehouse district.

“Are you sure about this, Terry?” Max asked through the com-link. Of the people in his life Max had been one of the few who knew about Thad, and he had talked to about the speedster.

With his suit’s invisibility cloaking him he watched Thad as he examined the crates. Finally he walked over to one and vibrated his hand through the container, pulling a small cobalt blue shard from within. It wasn’t supposed to be there, but it was. 

“Yeah, I am.” He said quietly before telling Max he would need communication to go dark for a moment as they talked.

With the invisibility disengaged Terry stepped out into the warehouse, his footsteps careful, his footsteps soft.

“Thad?” Terry clasped his wrist, he couldn’t have him leave again. He didn’t care why he was here, but just that he _was_. He held a piece of him in his hand, solid, warm, and grateful that Thad didn’t pull back this time.

So Terry pulled him closer, getting a look at the speedster beneath the goggles, time had aged them both, new lines had appeared on both of their faces, but as different as things may have seemed Terry hoped that some things were the same, “Can we talk?”

He would have said anything in that moment to keep him here. To keep him still.

A few empty bottles littered the surface of a coffee table Terry’s apartment, and the foreign sound of laughter echoed and bounced off the walls; it was a sound that hadn’t been heard in the home for some time. Years had passed since Terry had last seen Thad, and then it had been one last mere glimpse before he had passed out again exhausted, and then nothing. Those last months before he disappeared had changed them both. Doubt, distrust, anger, their close friendship had spiraled until Thad was suddenly gone. He had always told Terry that he would get out this century one day, that his teleportal would be completed soon, but neither had expected it to be true. He had liked it there in Neo-Gotham. That’s what he said, and would say again, but that truth dissipated with the days.

Things were never the same after that. Sometimes you lose friends and while you miss them and the place they held in your life, you simply have to accept that they’re not there anymore. With Thad, the acceptance never came, it had felt different like an itch that was festering in his chest, and that feeling had lingered, and soon it became the norm. It was simply there and he had lived with it until tonight. Sitting around, talking to him again made him remember it. Talking to him again was all he ever thought he wanted, but there was still more.

“Grife, do you remember that time Ghoul actually tried to—”

“Yes!” Terry laughed, handing Thad another drink, Thad’s hand brushing against his own, fingers brushing a burn scar he didn’t remember, “And you plucked that laughing gas bomb right out of the air and tossed it right back him.” It had been one of the better nights Terry had had fighting Ghoul and his gang of Jokerz. They were all too busy laughing away to even rob the store at that point.

“That was the same night I won that bet on the Keystone.”

Terry laugh as he remembered that too, but for an entirely different reason.

“You kissed me, too.” He set down his glass.

“Well…” Thad paused and flicked the cap of his drink onto the table, he glanced once at Terry before he settled looking anywhere but at him, “…I was tipsy and the Combines had beaten Neo-Gotham Blades, remember?” Thad supplied the reason so easily with a shrug and as if it was nothing. He smiled tilting his head back against the back of the couch and closed his eyes simply comfortable. He had been time traveling for so long, making sure that the time-stream wasn’t altered that he hadn’t. Neo-Gotham had been something like a second home to him. A real home unlike the 31st Century, and warmer than the early 21st Century. It had its good moments, and its bad ones, but it had been more of a home than either time had been. He actually had someone in his life and that made it all the better.

“A speedster tipsy?” Terry lets out a laugh though even he knew it sounded off as he stoop up and cleared the bottles from the coffee table. How many times had Thad told him about a speedsters metabolism and how it would take a tranquilizer or two potent enough to take down an elephant to actually effect him, “Now I’ve heard it all.” 

“Regardless, it’s not like it meant anything.” He said brushing back his hair behind his ear. “It was just excitement.” It had to be just that or else… 

“Really?” 

…Or else he’d fall.

Thad could hear it in his voice as he felt the couch cushions shift right next to him. Maybe Thad only hoped he heard it as he opened his eyes to see Terry in the dim room stare back him with disappointment, genuine disappointment.

Slowly Thad sat up, as if any fast gesture could dissipate this. 

Whatever _this_ was. 

He wanted to find out.

“I…” Thad stammered as Terry leaned forward and pressed his lips to his own, gentle, warm, and soft.

Thad’s hand trailed up the back of his neck and carded through Terry hair as he kissed him back, pulled back and pressed his forehead to Terry’s own, gazing into those blue eyes that he could never ignore, and kissed him again. 

He was only person he trusted like this. 

Thad was leaning against the balcony railing, wearing an old long-sleeved Neo-Gotham University sweatshirts looking down at the city below, soaking in the cool night air and how nice it felt against his heated skin.

Walking up behind him, Terry gingerly bumps his shoulder against Thad’s own in greeting, and the same gesture is soon returned before Terry, too, leans against the railing looking out to his city, his home.

“You wanted to know what I did.” Thad suddenly said surprising Terry. Things had never been the same between them since they had first tried to have this conversation, since Bruce and Tim had…‘warned’ him.

“Thad, I know, you don’t have to—”

“No.” He urges the railing tight in his grip, his knuckles white before he releases, “I need to. You know whatever this is between us…wherever it will lead…I don’t want the past to come between us again.” He explains. Whether this was self sabotage or acceptance Thad knew it had to be said.

“I killed the fourth Flash.” Thad said firmly, and clearly in the night, “I died for it. I killed him out of a spiteful obsession and an anger of being his clone that I could barely even begin to explain to you.” He stared down at the dark corners of the city, the lights from up in this level of the city couldn’t even begin to pervade them, Thad lets out a sigh, “But I regret it. Bart…He didn’t deserve that.” For all Thad had spouted off in his youth about knowing more than Bart…He couldn’t see past what he had been taught, the anger, the obsession, the desire to ultimately differentiate himself in the only way he knew. Neither of them deserved that. 

“I never knew if I wanted to change…I never like the idea of ‘change’ when I was always preoccupied with just trying to just be me,” He let out a weak laugh at that though it still hurt, “I never knew what that was. Who I was supposed to be, but at the least I wanted to try to be better. Especially,” And Thad shrugged and looked to Terry, “…especially after I met _you_. You were a hero who told me that he wasn’t perfect and—and I liked that. I saw something in you, and I wanted to try even if I got hurt again doing so. And I still want to try.” The speedster said and nodded before he held his head in his hands.

“Why do I feel like such a fool, McGinnis?” Thad let out a laugh and shook his head. He felt like he could die again. I terrible thing that was, but he was glad to at least say it to Terry.

“Because being honest is hard.” He responded rubbing Thad’s back as they stood there.

“You were still a kid then. A kid with a messed up life…” Terry added softly, “…I’m sorry for what I said back then, too.” 

“Why are you sorry? You were right back then.”

“I forced the conversation. It wasn’t fair. The person you were when we met…it wasn’t the same person who made that decision.” Would it have been fair for someone to judge him for his past? For stealing? For having gone to juvie? Terry wouldn’t have thought so back then. He would have yelled it wasn’t fair in the least, that he had changed…just like Thad had back then.

The pair stood on the balcony for a moment more listening to the sounds of the city before Thad leaned his should against Terry’s own and the two walked back inside, tired yet refreshed at the same time as they headed back to the warmth of the bed.

Thad curled up by his side and each relished the feeling of a body solid and warm beside them.

* * * * * * * * * *

Sixteen years, three months, one week, and two days; Thad could calculate the moment that something changed in him down to the hour with absolutely. It was one of only a handful dates that he did, and his own ‘birthday’ was not one of them. That was barely even worth the space, but this? This meant the beginning to so much, and more.

As Thad cradle his drink in hand he felt warmth trail up from his arm to cradle the back of his neck. A soft touch. A secure one. And a voice that never simply be _familiar_ , but _indelible_ to him.

“Didn’t keep you waiting long, did I?” Terry smiled at him, age had begun to crinkled at the corner of those baby blue eyes, but they were just as sharp and mischievous as the day the pair had first met. And seemingly just as troublesome as gold eyes glanced over the nick on his cheek.

Thad took Terry’s hand in his own and squeezed it once, “Never.” And that was saying something for the speedster. He could tap his foot against the ground, his ring against any glass or surface with annoyance for anyone else, but he could and would wait for Terry till the absolute end. He stood and pulled him into a tight embrace earned a pained groan and a wheezing laugh from the hero while the speedster in turn let out a sigh, and to Terry, tutted and fussed like a worried mother. 

Thad was all over him, not in the way he would have preferred, given that if they were somewhere much more private and romantic to boot, but the speedster pushed and prodded as he muttered quickly under his breath, “Bruised ribs,” and assortment of other things, listing of what injuries he could find on Terry as he checked him others. It had only taken Terry years to partially understand the speedster when he got like this, but along with that partial trick he had learned many others.

“I see ‘work’ is still keeping you busy.” Thad said in a voice tinged with a touch of scolding; His breath tickling Terry’s ear. They simply weren’t as young as they once had been. Work was the eternal struggle between the two of them. Batman would always be busy taking care of Gotham, and Thad helped keep a watch over the Time Stream; his own ancestors made certain to keep him on his toes. He scoffed. _Cobalt Blues_. With access to time travel they had tried to spread their influence amongst other Thawnes across time with slivers and shards of the cobalt blue gem. It was tiresome work that was never truly done, but someone had to do it, just like how someone would always have to protect Gotham. Thad let out a sigh lost to his thoughts as Terry let him scan him over, but soon enough was enough. He couldn’t let the speedster linger too long with his thoughts.

Terry raised his arms up and out, and then lightly clapped his hands against Thad’s cheeks, squishing his previously contemplative look between his hands.

“Thad.” He said looking down to the blonde, “I promise I’m fine.”

Thad hated it, his expression said that and more, but Terry grinned a wide grin at the speedster’s annoyance. It was cute on him, and the surprised look that always came from disturbing the speedster when he was deep in thought never ceased to amuse him.

Despite his words or mirth, Thad didn’t seem to believe him, and that too was to be expected from the speedster who frowned as Terry let go of his face, “You might be ‘fine,’ and ‘alright,’ or that it’s ‘nothing,’ but I’ll still worry about you,” His voice had grown quieter as he brushed his hand against Terry’s own cheek and traced his thumb over the fresh cut; a bolt like electricity jumped from the light touch to Terry’s cheek, “Okay?” 

It always surprised him. No matter how many times it happened, no matter how many times Thad shared a bit of his Speed Force energy to help heal him, but just as he always did Terry pressed firmly toward that light touch of Thad’s and said, “Okay.”

He read those half steps taken that Thad was scared to take and bridged the gap, read them right and read them wrong over the course of their shared life, but no one could say he didn’t try, but he wasn’t the only one. Thad had learned how to contend in the life of a hero. He had changed from a man only concerned for himself to something he had never considered. He helped him, and the city, and while it kept them away from each other he protected the timeline he loved. While he never called himself a hero, Thad had changed. The endless seeming path before him had a light he had never seen before.

They had both found a light they hadn’t expected in this bar.

As they sat Thad let out a sigh, “Y’know back then you annoyed and confused me.” 

“Likewise. I remember when you called me handsome.” Terry grinned as he swirled Thad’s drink and took a sip. _Rum and coke_. 

“Like I said it was the bartender,” He said always the stickler for accuracy, it came with the speedster’s memory, he could remember every word he read, and every conversation. It was a blessing and it was a curse as moments better left to blur with time would rise with the same sting as if said minutes ago, but in this moment Thad smiled a smile that had become less rare in Terry’s company, “But I suppose I can see it now.” He teased.

“Oh? Just now? And here I thought you married me for my goods looks,” Terry laughed. Their relationship back then had been complicated in the past. One night they would fight and do the whole hero and villain song and dance, and the next they buy each other drinks. Once even Thad had covered him in a fight. It was the moment he thought that maybe, maybe what had happened at the bar hadn’t been a fluke. That maybe Thad wasn’t as bad as what everyone told him, and what Thad told him just to push him back. It was hard back when their relationship didn’t have a name between them, when things were unsteady, but those were the moments when Terry would grasp firmly, and certain. He made mistakes, but he wouldn’t make the same one twice.

“I married you because you were stubborn…and dependable.” He murmured taking back his drink from him, swirling it in hand. He had told Terry time and time again that he could have done better than him, but he wouldn’t take that for an answer. Every time he simply said, ‘Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop,’ but Thad never did. He couldn’t lie about this like he had with everything else in his life, “…But really…After the first time we met…I didn’t know what I felt back then, but I was sure that I wanted to know you even if that was simply it. I thought we were alike. Kindred in a way” He shrugged, “And then…then you gave me a chance when no one else would.” Meeting Terry that one night had changed the course of Thad’s life. It was a real second chance. There had been ups and downs, but that one chance changed his life.

Terry grabbed Thad’s hand across the table. Feeling it solid and warm in his own.

It was one chance like Terry had gotten when he became Batman. It he could get a second chance why couldn’t he have given one as well? So that’s what he had done. They both had past sins to make up for, and they had worked hard to right their wrongs.

They would never be perfect, an impossibility, but they would always try, to strive for what they thought would be the right thing to do, and now they could do so together. No matter what others said they knew where they stood and that was enough.

Terry squeeze of Thad’s hand in his own, “How about we head home instead, hm? Tell me what you’ve been up to, and I’ll tell what you’ve missed while you were away.”

“I’d like that.” Thad couldn’t think of a better thing to on their anniversary.

It had felt too long since they had simply been home together.

**Author's Note:**

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> 
> Comments, questions, and reactions are 100% welcomed and greatly appreciated! Tell me what you liked, questions you have, anything! Give this work a kudos if you liked it. Comments and kudos help me to create more work and figure out what I should work on.


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